What is inside of you?

Wow! We are actually down to less than 85 days until our wedding day. On our strive to oneness we are actually having to make real decisions along the process. For instance, how are we paying for the wedding, where are we going to live, how we are going to handle our finances, etc. As we make these serious decisions we really are getting a heavy dose of true intimacy. Like our Pastor's wife constantly states, "Intimacy means just that, (In- to me –u – See)" being in a relationship and actually having to discuss real issues can really bring the realness out of each other. Now, making these small decisions although they seem big to us gives us the opportunity to see what actually makes us tick, and exposes what is actually inside of us. The more Candace and I try to implement the characteristics of Christ in our lives the better we are at interacting together. The Holy Spirit guides us to respond accordingly over and over again. We can only respond consistently with a gentle answer to turn away from conflict/destruction if the Holy Spirit rest within us. Which brings me to my main point on why we need to flee from Sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18) because where Lust, Selfishness, perversion, and the like rest, the Holy Spirit will refuse to rest! The Holy Spirit is all about Love, Giving, and Purity. What’s inside of you?
~Tommy

Influential Woman:

Over the past few weeks I have been realizing how critical of a role my attitude plays in altering the environment of our relationship.Tommy detests a negative/or complaining spirit and for him any kind of complaint without a solution is futile and utterly destructive for a person’s spirit. (Remember, these are my words not his…but from what I gather from our conversations and his response to complaining attitudes, this is the bottom line.)

And truthfully, I agree with him, although sometimes you just want to vent about your day or just your frustrations. I used to think, “yeah, that’s the great part about having a mate: someone to talk to about EVERYTHING, someone to just be truthful and transparent with. But the reality is, no matter how open and transparent your relationship is, your man is not your girlfriend, and most of all he is not God! He has bad days too, and you have to be sensitive to when is right time to vent or simply “express your feelings” and when you should just leave your frustrations at the Father’s feet, and have a quiet and content spirit.

This can be a challenge for me, but as I continue to grow in Christ and also learn my role as a woman, and as a wife-to-be, I am beginning to grasp the concept of truly “Seeking first the Kingdom of Heaven”. You see, if I continue to “VENT, AND VENT, AND VENT” Tommy begins to get worn out and “un-motivated” to talk to me. There is only so much negative talk you can share; you have to use wisdom and realize the power and influence that you as a woman truly have in setting the environment for your male/female relationships.

So as I practice these tools myself, I encourage you ladies to also apply the skill of applying the 5 W’s a little differently:

1. Knowing who to talk to

2. What to share with them

3. Where is the best place to talk

4. When is the right time to bring up the subject

5. Why you’re choosing to share this issue/subject with them.

***Remember, despite how strong, protective, wise, or patient your SuperMan is, he is still just a man, a mere human, and Truthfully, God should be the 1^st one you run to when you’re overwhelmed or stressed, or confused, or whatever! Seeking Christ first will allow you to do all your talking and expressing without talking his ear off, and it will also allow the Holy Spirit to enter your situation and calm you down. And lastly, you will hopefully have received a new direction or solution to your issue that you can positively share with your man.

Most men are problem solvers, so talking just to talk can get really old and frustrating for them, but if you already have a solution, they may be a little more inclined to engage in the conversation, knowing there’s a point to the story, and better yet, that your positively responding to it.

Well I hope this was helpful, I’d love to know your thoughts on the issue.

~Candace

He Lives in You

We are elated and thankful when people tell us this blog is inspirational; but one thing we want to set straight is that this blog is not meant to be inspirational but rather made to be educational. My view of inspirational is when you look at something and have the response of Wow! What they are doing is great. On the contrary, things that are educational not only have you saying wow! What they are doing is great, but I feel empowered & equipped to do the same thing. Our motivation for this blog is not just to share what Candace and I are learning on our journey towards marriage. Instead our motivation to show you what Christ has done in our lives and is capable of doing in yours. If you know Candace or myself then you know that neither one of us has a spotless past, that is until we allowed the Holy spirit to rest inside us to cleanse and forgive us of our past, present, and future. Furthermore, the Holy spirit has defined us and I can think of no better example than this.:
Most of my close friends know that the Lion King is one of my favorite movies, I think it is so much deeper than animation. Specifically I want to concentrate on the part where Simba forgets who he is; and the Baboon (Rafiki) has to remind him of not only who he is but more importantly who he comes from. He comes from MUFASA the KING of PRIDE ROCK! Therefore, that is really what this blog is about a reminder of who we come from the real KING the real ROCK (JESUS CHRIST) It is totally understood that this world has the ability to make us sometimes forget like Simba. Also, like Simba I think its our duty to look deep into our reflection. If we don’t see anything at first I think we need to take Rafiki’s advice and “LOOK HARDER”. Until we are fully convinced that he lives in me and he lives in you (Gen 1:26-29) and understand we are called to be Kings and Queens since we are made in his Image. In conclusion, I would like to restate we are so thankful for your encouraging words, but this blog is so not about us; its more so about the Christ that lives in us. By which empowers us to live this lifestyle of sexual purity. Finally, I have a strong conviction that it is no accident that you’re reading this blog. It is meant for you Yes you! To realize that “He Lives in You”.

~Tommy