I’m so annoyed right now because the blog I just typed for ya’ll is completely gone, Word shut down and took with it my blog, so now I’m starting from scratch. I hope it’s as good as the last. lol
So I was talking about how Tommy and I made the decision not to kiss (like on the lips) until our wedding day. Some may think it’s extreme or just plain silly, but for us it’s a choice we made a year and eight months ago because we know ourselves and we understand the difference between something being “permissible and beneficial” (1corinthians 6:12)
I mean, for some people kissing is like an alternative hug and for others it’s the closest thing to having sex. For me I know kissing is just going to leave me wanting more and more and more, and …well you get the point. Lol As said by minister Lindsay Marsh, “we weren’t created to have to stop,” and I am a true believer of that…let’s finish what we started you know what I mean.
Anyway, to be honest Tommy is the first person I have ever made such a commitment with, and it wasn’t easy making the decision, nor is it easy keeping it. I mean, for the most part it’s been cool, but I know I’m not the only one that gets “physically frustrated” sometimes and simply wants to have sex. And ladies and gentlemen, being engaged makes it no easier. The idea of being married in only 10 months and knowing that you’ll be able to have all the sex , and do all the kissing you want, really messes a sistah’s mind up. I mean, Wow!
Just the idea of being able to make love with the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with, and being able to then get up and joyfully go to church or say a quick prayer about how great the sex was, completely blows my mind.
And ladies and gents, that’s partly what keeps me committed, not to mention the public commitment we have made. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not about showing others how strong or pure we can be, but it’s really about knowing and following God’s voice that leads you as an individual. Not everyone has felt that tug on their heart to make such a commitment, so I’m not here to tell you how to make that decision. But I am here as a human being that is working by God’s grace with my fiance’ to stay true to a major commitment.
When it really boils down to it, I have to be real with myself and I have to analyze the set up of the battle. Is it just about Tommy and I or is it bigger than us? How will this choice to break this commitment affect even bigger commitments in our marriage? And the list goes on.
If I’m willing to let this commitment go by the way side all for a quick tease that I know can’t really satisfy me, than will I allow just a little online porn in our home, or even just a casual lunch date with a co-worker….
So instead of practicing how to be unfaithful, Tommy and I chose to practice faithfulness to one another and to Christ.
So when times get rough and your contemplating just a little this…a little that…really challenge yourself to look past the moment and look into your future. Is it all about you or is there an even bigger picture that’s being clouded by that strong desire to be sexually and emotionally satisfied.
And just little tip: if you find yourself second guessing or thinking really hard on something, you should probably stick to your guns and not do whatever you’re thinking about doing.
It’s kind of like driving: some things are really obvious like Don’t go through the RED light, Definitely go through the GREEN light,…but when you get to a YELLOW light it gets a little sticky for some; if you’re like me you tend to hesitate on going through or deciding to stop. But all in all you know you should just stop, and the whole 2 seconds that you’re trying to make the light before it turns RED, you’re praying and hoping to God there wasn’t a cop there or at least that the flash you just saw in your rear view mirror wasn’t the remains of a photo of your license plate. Lol
So I do what I know is best for me: I say what I’m feeling out loud, I remind myself why I’m keeping to my commitment, and I try to move out of the circumstance that is making me want to take the risk and go through that yellow light.
We have to step our game up; we aren’t 8 and 9 years old anymore and “red light, green light 123” isn’t something we do to past time by, it’s our future!
So I was talking about how Tommy and I made the decision not to kiss (like on the lips) until our wedding day. Some may think it’s extreme or just plain silly, but for us it’s a choice we made a year and eight months ago because we know ourselves and we understand the difference between something being “permissible and beneficial” (1corinthians 6:12)
I mean, for some people kissing is like an alternative hug and for others it’s the closest thing to having sex. For me I know kissing is just going to leave me wanting more and more and more, and …well you get the point. Lol As said by minister Lindsay Marsh, “we weren’t created to have to stop,” and I am a true believer of that…let’s finish what we started you know what I mean.
Anyway, to be honest Tommy is the first person I have ever made such a commitment with, and it wasn’t easy making the decision, nor is it easy keeping it. I mean, for the most part it’s been cool, but I know I’m not the only one that gets “physically frustrated” sometimes and simply wants to have sex. And ladies and gentlemen, being engaged makes it no easier. The idea of being married in only 10 months and knowing that you’ll be able to have all the sex , and do all the kissing you want, really messes a sistah’s mind up. I mean, Wow!
Just the idea of being able to make love with the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with, and being able to then get up and joyfully go to church or say a quick prayer about how great the sex was, completely blows my mind.
And ladies and gents, that’s partly what keeps me committed, not to mention the public commitment we have made. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not about showing others how strong or pure we can be, but it’s really about knowing and following God’s voice that leads you as an individual. Not everyone has felt that tug on their heart to make such a commitment, so I’m not here to tell you how to make that decision. But I am here as a human being that is working by God’s grace with my fiance’ to stay true to a major commitment.
When it really boils down to it, I have to be real with myself and I have to analyze the set up of the battle. Is it just about Tommy and I or is it bigger than us? How will this choice to break this commitment affect even bigger commitments in our marriage? And the list goes on.
If I’m willing to let this commitment go by the way side all for a quick tease that I know can’t really satisfy me, than will I allow just a little online porn in our home, or even just a casual lunch date with a co-worker….
So instead of practicing how to be unfaithful, Tommy and I chose to practice faithfulness to one another and to Christ.
So when times get rough and your contemplating just a little this…a little that…really challenge yourself to look past the moment and look into your future. Is it all about you or is there an even bigger picture that’s being clouded by that strong desire to be sexually and emotionally satisfied.
And just little tip: if you find yourself second guessing or thinking really hard on something, you should probably stick to your guns and not do whatever you’re thinking about doing.
It’s kind of like driving: some things are really obvious like Don’t go through the RED light, Definitely go through the GREEN light,…but when you get to a YELLOW light it gets a little sticky for some; if you’re like me you tend to hesitate on going through or deciding to stop. But all in all you know you should just stop, and the whole 2 seconds that you’re trying to make the light before it turns RED, you’re praying and hoping to God there wasn’t a cop there or at least that the flash you just saw in your rear view mirror wasn’t the remains of a photo of your license plate. Lol
So I do what I know is best for me: I say what I’m feeling out loud, I remind myself why I’m keeping to my commitment, and I try to move out of the circumstance that is making me want to take the risk and go through that yellow light.
We have to step our game up; we aren’t 8 and 9 years old anymore and “red light, green light 123” isn’t something we do to past time by, it’s our future!
~ Candace
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3 comments:
Great blog !!!! I loved the Red, Green, Yellow Light analogy! Made things really clear. I think all in all, people tend to focus on all that we can't do rather than what we should be doing to enhance ourselves. So, I appreciate you stating that this committment to God is in turn preparing the both of you to stay committed to one another when you do get married. I mean....if you can't keep a promise to the one that gave His life for you...how much more an ordinary human being?
Yay to Seekers of Truth !!!! Can't wait till JULY "-)
Wow, I guess I never really thought about the commitment aspect you talked about. Hmmmmm...keeping a commitment now and its impact on later commitments is so key. I think you brought up some really great keys that definately ministered to me.
I'm so proud of you guys.
I'm Loving this Blog. It's great to see couples committing to each other in such a way. My Gentleman friend and I are also waiting for each other. My traffic light situation only happens with who I consider to be the one and I know what that is like to be given the Green light then have to get to that yellow light and finally say to yourself STOP. Its basically painful and frustrating. Personally I feel like its more difficult for me. My GF has no problem. Im sure he gets more frustrated at times but that time at the yellow light just kills me. Ok i'm getting a little long winded here. Keep the blogs coming.
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