Wow, I cannot even begin to tell you how much your past can really challenge your present and future relationships. There is so much in my past that I thought I had really dealt with, until Tommy and I began to dig deep into the conflict and communication break downs between us. We’ve all heard it before that “women are more emotional than men and that we carry all our emotional baggage around” and inadvertently smacking every new relationship in the face, walking around saying, “oh I’m sorry, ooh didn’t mean to do that….” Until the person finally walks away thinking to themselves, “Whoa…I’m so tired of getting smacked in the face and hearing all these apologies, yet still getting hit for no APPARENT reason (Apparent being the key word).
The baggage that I have wasn’t always so visible; I think for some of us (if I can speak for the women) our “baggage” is sometimes just put in a new or different bag like a wristlet or a wallet. It gets so clouded and cluttered by the things that make us feel good (like the lip gloss, and makeup) that you don’t even realize it’s in there. It’s kind of like your driver’s license. I hardly every even think to check that it’s in my purse; when I go into my bag it’s not ever to get my license, it’s to get some lip gloss or body spray, or gum. If you think about it, most of the times you’re asked to show your ID, it’s to verify or prove something (and for me an uncomfortable feeling); like being pulled over for speeding, or trying to buy alcohol or get into a club and you’re under age. In all of those instances just the idea of having to pull out your ID makes you a little nervous and that after taking it out the first thing you want to do is to put it right back in your purse, and the last thing you want is for you to be denied access because your license “baggage” has been denied.
In my present circumstance, my baggage from previous relationships and my feelings of insecurity and fear, have been tucked away in a small/unused compartment of my purse (life and heart), and now that I have iron (Tommy) trying to sharpen iron (me), I’m being forced to really dig deep and verify some things in my heart: why I do certain things, and why I think a certain way. And as sharp as that iron is sometimes, and as quickly as I sometimes just want to put my baggage away, I have to really attack the issues at heart and let God do the true renovation and beautification that’s required for me to live freely.
Don’t just get your issues a new bag to sit in, rather un -zip the bag, pour it all out on a table (it doesn’t have to be all at once) , and honestly share the issues so that you can be well- sharpened; ready to cut through even the hardest things in life.
~ Candace
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2 comments:
So very true! I agree that it’s those small things, small compartments as you say that can ultimately cause the rifts of divisiveness And this is all relevant for any covenant relationship.
This makes me think of my daily interactions with those I am connected to in relationship. My unwillingness or even ignorance to acknowledge those small things which may hinder my relationships are a constant, daily reminder of the conditions that I place on love. Yet, how blessed I am to walk in relationship those is my life!
This is so true, Candace! And while it's not fun “unzipping” the bag, it is very much needed. Thank God Tommy is a man of God who realizes that he is to help you in the process! This makes me think back on the time when Rev. Tony Lee came to Word Up! and he was talking about how we’re at such a key point in our lives and now is the time to work on issues that we may have and get closure so that we don’t carry those baggage with us as we get older.
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