The "1"

What Your Engaged? Are you sure?, Wait, How old are you ? There are so many females why settle for one? Why? Ahhh that’s great! Good luck with that…Wait, Why again?? That’s Cool!! .. Well how do you know you’ve found “The One “???
All typical conversations I go through now being engaged. No matter who or wherever I’m conversing with someone if the Subject that I’m engaged comes up it usually leads down the path of these responses. Here and Now, I will concentrate on the last question which seems to come up the most. How do you know you‘ve found “The ONE”. I ’m always tempted to answer the question with “I don’t I’m just gonna try my LUCK and see how it goes “. Although being the closest thing to the TRUTH that answer always seems as if it would draw an entertaining response back, even though that is the reality that most people asking that question are living in as they speak. The answer most people are content with is “You Just Know” so that’s usually what I give them but the Real answer goes much deeper than that. One thing Candace and I had established early in our relationship was that we are each other’s # 2’s with Jesus being each of our # 1 ( Not a bad person to come in second place to.) Once, we had noticed in each other that we both had already found “THE ONE” it was very easy for us to slide into our vacant # 2 spots. The Cool thing about Jesus being in your #1 spot is that there is no higher standard that your #2 can ask of you that isn’t already required of you. So if you find someone that is fully submitted to that #1 spot it’s very easy to know if you’ve found “The One “ or not …”You just Know”!!!!… LUCK is when Preparation meets Opportunity…
My questions: Who are you preparing for someone who Knows “THE ONE” or someone you want to be “THE ONE”???? Who are you trying your LUCK on??
~ Tommy

"Red Light, Green Light, 123"

I’m so annoyed right now because the blog I just typed for ya’ll is completely gone, Word shut down and took with it my blog, so now I’m starting from scratch. I hope it’s as good as the last. lol
So I was talking about how Tommy and I made the decision not to kiss (like on the lips) until our wedding day. Some may think it’s extreme or just plain silly, but for us it’s a choice we made a year and eight months ago because we know ourselves and we understand the difference between something being “permissible and beneficial” (1corinthians 6:12)

I mean, for some people kissing is like an alternative hug and for others it’s the closest thing to having sex. For me I know kissing is just going to leave me wanting more and more and more, and …well you get the point. Lol As said by minister Lindsay Marsh, “we weren’t created to have to stop,” and I am a true believer of that…let’s finish what we started you know what I mean.
Anyway, to be honest Tommy is the first person I have ever made such a commitment with, and it wasn’t easy making the decision, nor is it easy keeping it. I mean, for the most part it’s been cool, but I know I’m not the only one that gets “physically frustrated” sometimes and simply wants to have sex. And ladies and gentlemen, being engaged makes it no easier. The idea of being married in only 10 months and knowing that you’ll be able to have all the sex , and do all the kissing you want, really messes a sistah’s mind up. I mean, Wow!
Just the idea of being able to make love with the person you plan on spending the rest of your life with, and being able to then get up and joyfully go to church or say a quick prayer about how great the sex was, completely blows my mind.
And ladies and gents, that’s partly what keeps me committed, not to mention the public commitment we have made. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not about showing others how strong or pure we can be, but it’s really about knowing and following God’s voice that leads you as an individual. Not everyone has felt that tug on their heart to make such a commitment, so I’m not here to tell you how to make that decision. But I am here as a human being that is working by God’s grace with my fiance’ to stay true to a major commitment.

When it really boils down to it, I have to be real with myself and I have to analyze the set up of the battle. Is it just about Tommy and I or is it bigger than us? How will this choice to break this commitment affect even bigger commitments in our marriage? And the list goes on.
If I’m willing to let this commitment go by the way side all for a quick tease that I know can’t really satisfy me, than will I allow just a little online porn in our home, or even just a casual lunch date with a co-worker….
So instead of practicing how to be unfaithful, Tommy and I chose to practice faithfulness to one another and to Christ.
So when times get rough and your contemplating just a little this…a little that…really challenge yourself to look past the moment and look into your future. Is it all about you or is there an even bigger picture that’s being clouded by that strong desire to be sexually and emotionally satisfied.
And just little tip: if you find yourself second guessing or thinking really hard on something, you should probably stick to your guns and not do whatever you’re thinking about doing.
It’s kind of like driving: some things are really obvious like Don’t go through the RED light, Definitely go through the GREEN light,…but when you get to a YELLOW light it gets a little sticky for some; if you’re like me you tend to hesitate on going through or deciding to stop. But all in all you know you should just stop, and the whole 2 seconds that you’re trying to make the light before it turns RED, you’re praying and hoping to God there wasn’t a cop there or at least that the flash you just saw in your rear view mirror wasn’t the remains of a photo of your license plate. Lol
So I do what I know is best for me: I say what I’m feeling out loud, I remind myself why I’m keeping to my commitment, and I try to move out of the circumstance that is making me want to take the risk and go through that yellow light.
We have to step our game up; we aren’t 8 and 9 years old anymore and “red light, green light 123” isn’t something we do to past time by, it’s our future!

~ Candace

Over this past Holiday Weekend Candace and I got asked a question about our Boundaries. Basically the question was "How X-TREME are they?" And "Why?" Throughout our relationship we have gotten crazy type advice on setting boundaries some we have taken some we have ignored. Examples being Not Hugging, Kissing or even holding hands. Others, not being together one-on-one, having curfews, and plenty more. Boundaries are important and setting X-TREME boundaries are really great to keep you from falling into temptation. A prime example of this is shown by Adam& Eve. If you read Genesis closely you can see the X-TREME boundary that they had in place. Gods command to Adam was to simply not eat from the Tree of The Knowledge of Good and Evil (Gen2:17). But later, (Gen 3:3) Eve insisted to the serpent that they couldn't even touch the tree or else they would surely die(I'd say a X-TREME boundary ). They took their Boundary one step further; I'm pretty sure if they would have stayed true to their X-TREME boundary and not have even touched the tree they wouldn't have had a problem with not eating the fruit. While all boundaries are different for all relationships. The questions really are "Do you Set X-TREME boundaries?" "Are they clearly stated?" and "Do you hold true to them?" Or can any smooth talking serpent come up to you and knock over your boundaries?

~Tommy