Vision

Over the past week Candace and I mapped out a vision for our marriage and I also made a list of goals for myself as well. I already have July 18^th 2059 marked on my calendar because that will be the day we celebrate our 50^th yr wedding anniversary. Candace is really good at mapping out her vision on paper while for me this is my first time but I would encourage everyone to do so. The word of God says: write down your vision on a tablet and make it plain so other may run with it. Therefore, with that being said we wanted to make our vision very simple and suitable for our children’s children’s children to be able to take it and run with it. We want to clearly make the declaration that all generational curses end with us at least any that we’re capable of ending. A declaration like that can only be accomplished by having a God ordained vision. The Pastors at our church put a lot of emphasis on passing the baton to the next generation like in a track meet and we don’t want our next generation to have to start with the baton out of the starting blocks but we want them to already be running and for it to be a simple exchange from us to them so they can take it and run with it. Writing out a vision doesn’t just give us a clear understanding of what we want out of life, but better yet it gives us a very clear description of what we don’t want out of life. So whether if you’re single or in a relationship you should map out a vision for qualities that you are looking for in a mate, or out of a relationship, and for your future. Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see . What don’t you see that you are hoping for??

~ Tommy

Godly Counsel is Paramount!!

Wow, I cannot begin to tell you how important it is to truly and proactively seek Godly counsel. Throughout our relationship Tommy and I have made a great effort to build relationship with leaders in the body of Christ that will be able and available to guide us through this new experience of engagement and future marriage. Whether it was reading books or just spending time with mentors from church, we knew that we needed support and additional perspectives in order to make this thing work.

And after experiencing our first “official” pre-marital counseling with a couple from our church, I am truly blown at the fact that people can really commit to a marriage without ever going through any kind of counseling or even a relationship building with Christ.

God is truly at the center of marriage and if you don’t have His heart about it, then you might as well sign the pre-nup and hang on for the ride that’s a downward ending slope; that’s after you tried to keep it exciting with sex and all.

This thing called marriage is NO Joke!!! Our meeting with the counselors really brought to light the reality of marriage and the joys and pains that will inevitably come along with it. I’ve heard it time and time again how marriage is real work, but I’m putting on my Timberlands and tightening my tool belt because it’s gonna take some serious submission and elbow grease for two imperfect people to exemplify God’s perfect union and display of His relationship with us as His children.

I’m realizing more and more each day how paramount it is for me to be on my A-game in order to contribute to our future marriage. I know I can’t get there alone so I’m glad we have Godly counsel to help us along the way.

~ Candace.

His-tory! ..Makes History

“The Worth The Wait Revolution" is having a model call this weekend, where Candace and I will be sharing our testimony. So, If you have a Heart for Sexual purity which I know you do because that’s God’s Heart; and you’re interested in serving and ministering to people Please come out! Check this link for more details. (www.iamworththewait.com)

Over this past week I’ve seen 50 cent Newspaper’s “Worth” go off the charts! So I asked myself: Why is that? For some people it was the historical aspect, others wanted to be able to show their children what they were apart of, and others got the papers because they thought it would be “Worth” a lot of something long down the road. I mean these papers are already going for $200 plus on E-Bay, which I think is pretty tight. But if we can imagine how a newspaper that a day before November 5^th or a day after is only “Worth” Picking up a dogs poop can be enhanced by a historical life changing event imagine how much a persons self “Worth” can be enhanced when it is identified with Christ, and “THE HISTORICAL LIFE CHANGING EVENT”. Can we imagine the historical aspect of living the way Christ has called us to live? Can we imagine passing down the Legacy of Sexual Purity to our children, and showing them the way a true marriage is to be displayed? Can we imagine sharing with people not what they think they will be “Worth” down the road but what Christ actually promises we are “Worth” today ? I personally didn’t get this newspaper that could be “Worth” so much in the future, and has so much historical significance, but my Bride to be (Candace) did, so luckily I didn’t miss-out on this historical opportunity but I’m pretty sure I would have been fine without my newspaper. On the contrary, one opportunity I refuse to miss-out on is being apart of “His-tory” and living my life to have a lasting impact on “His-tory”. My questions are who are you letting define your “Worth”? Is it Christ? Or some other outside forces?

~ Tommy

What happens when the things you thought were dead, keep coming up alive in your relationship?

Wow, I cannot even begin to tell you how much your past can really challenge your present and future relationships. There is so much in my past that I thought I had really dealt with, until Tommy and I began to dig deep into the conflict and communication break downs between us. We’ve all heard it before that “women are more emotional than men and that we carry all our emotional baggage around” and inadvertently smacking every new relationship in the face, walking around saying, “oh I’m sorry, ooh didn’t mean to do that….” Until the person finally walks away thinking to themselves, “Whoa…I’m so tired of getting smacked in the face and hearing all these apologies, yet still getting hit for no APPARENT reason (Apparent being the key word).

The baggage that I have wasn’t always so visible; I think for some of us (if I can speak for the women) our “baggage” is sometimes just put in a new or different bag like a wristlet or a wallet. It gets so clouded and cluttered by the things that make us feel good (like the lip gloss, and makeup) that you don’t even realize it’s in there. It’s kind of like your driver’s license. I hardly every even think to check that it’s in my purse; when I go into my bag it’s not ever to get my license, it’s to get some lip gloss or body spray, or gum. If you think about it, most of the times you’re asked to show your ID, it’s to verify or prove something (and for me an uncomfortable feeling); like being pulled over for speeding, or trying to buy alcohol or get into a club and you’re under age. In all of those instances just the idea of having to pull out your ID makes you a little nervous and that after taking it out the first thing you want to do is to put it right back in your purse, and the last thing you want is for you to be denied access because your license “baggage” has been denied.

In my present circumstance, my baggage from previous relationships and my feelings of insecurity and fear, have been tucked away in a small/unused compartment of my purse (life and heart), and now that I have iron (Tommy) trying to sharpen iron (me), I’m being forced to really dig deep and verify some things in my heart: why I do certain things, and why I think a certain way. And as sharp as that iron is sometimes, and as quickly as I sometimes just want to put my baggage away, I have to really attack the issues at heart and let God do the true renovation and beautification that’s required for me to live freely.

Don’t just get your issues a new bag to sit in, rather un -zip the bag, pour it all out on a table (it doesn’t have to be all at once) , and honestly share the issues so that you can be well- sharpened; ready to cut through even the hardest things in life.

~ Candace