"A Woman without her Man is nothing"

Depending on your own experiences or even how you view me will probably determine how you interpret or think about this title.

This weekend while Candace and I were out in D.C. a older lady came up to us after seeing that we were engaged and said " See I think every man has a rib out there somewhere and when you two walked into the room I could tell you two were together." Then she proceeded after many other words to say, "and Young Man I think you found your rib!"

It is so unique and amazing to me how Christ took the Rib out of the Man to create the Woman, and then births Men out of Women to create this complete circle of life. Therefore, he made us so relational that we need both of us, male and female in order to exist; we are compliments of one another. I'm sure there is a reason why Candace can hold a conversation longer than I can, and there is a reason I think big picture while Candace thinks details; it is needed for us to reach a level of fullness together.

Our Pastor Donnell Jones (Not the singer) put it best to us one day; the Bible says in a marriage two become one not the same, so just like a Nut and a Bolt are two separate individual items, but when put together they make perfect unity. So is a Husband and Wife. You may be asking "How does this all tie back into Sexual Purity?" Well by not giving yourself away before you are married and have made a total commitment to each other, it forces you to not only begin to acknowledge each others’ differences but it also opens up the door for you to be able to appreciate each others’ differences. So for us as individuals, we need to work on our qualities that we will bring to the circle so we can help fulfill. For couples, we should try to focus on what our mate contributes to our fulfillment. Our God is such a relational God and I truly believe he puts people in our lives so we can get extra glimpses of who he really is. So as Candace and I move towards our onedom (if you will, if that's a word), All I can say is

"A Woman, without her, Man is Nothing". or

"A Woman, without her Man, is nothing".

I think both of them fit, you pick.

~ Tommy

“Taking Care of Business”

Wow, where do I begin… So much has transpired since our last blog. I could share with you my experience of being a supportive fiancé and friend to Tommy during the passing of his last grandparent, or how stressful the financial portion of planning a wedding can be, or even how testing it is sometimes to learn the importance of really work as one, or most recently the pressing attention needed to have clear communication with one another. But instead I have decided to share with you my gratitude to have Tommy as my friend and soon-to-be husband. Ladies, there is nothing more appealing to me right now than his astounding humility and intentional love for me!

I am seriously in awe of how humble he is; now often times when we argue it’s because of something that I messed up on (and no, right or wrong should never be the focus of a disagreement), but who likes to be wrong? Anyway, growing in Christ with Tommy has really taught me how to live in excellence and in love. He’s not too proud to admit or to apologize when he makes a mistake or realizes he didn’t respond in love. That blows my mind; the Bible says that … “Husbands are to treat their wives like Christ treats the church…” and Tommy is truly an example of that word.

It is my advice to you to always speak up and tell those around you and especially your partner of your admiration for them. And as humble as they may be, it’s always encouraging to know that you appreciate and notice their effort in loving you. After listening to a sermon by Pastor Bryan E. Crute and Lynette Crute of Destiny Metropolitan Church in Atlanta, GA, I learned the importance of respect and admiration towards your husband. This word really touched me; it reminded me that nothing is ever too small to celebrate and your man is probably just praying and wishing you notice his effort to love you.

Don’t be like the wife in T.D. Jake’s new film “Not Easily Broken”; don’t ignore and push your man so far away that he finds the need to look for love and respect outside your marriage. Ask yourself, “Who’s taking care of your man?”

I know I am!!! And I pray and declare that no one else will ever have to answer that question for me.

~ Candace