"The Present"

"Yesterday Is History, Tomorrow Is A Mystery, Today Is A Gift That's Why We Call It The Present.”

Since it is the week of Christmas I thought it would be fitting to write something about “Gifts” the book of Proverbs says: “Do not boast about tomorrow for we do not know what a day may bring forth”. On the contrary, Paul said: “He forgets what was behind him and strains toward what’s ahead”. So if we shouldn’t concern ourselves about tomorrow and yet we shouldn’t look backwards,what should we do? I guess we should focus on today. Today, I asked Candace if she was enjoying the season of our Engagement and she said, “ Yes!” I’m glad because I think that’s all we need to worry about for now. Our future Forecast marriage and our past showcased dating which in reality neither means too much right now. So, today Candace and I are engaged and I guess we don’t just need to focus on stirring “it” up But Stirring up our “Gift” of Today in particular. What has God blessed us with right now that we need to focus on stirring up? My friend who is married gave me some great advice and encouragement about why waiting to get married before having sex is so key he said, “ It’s the only time that we get to build these spiritual and physical muscles” and after hearing that it just made sense I don’t want to wait until marriage to learn how to listen/communicate to my wife or wait to learn how to give love and affection without wanting something in return. Can it be learned in marriage? Yes, of course but why wait? Have you ever tried to study for a test after the teacher passed it out? I have, and it doesn’t work very well. Better yet if you’re an athlete have you ever tried to workout or train after the game has started? I haven’t but I would love to play against an opponent that did. What are we doing for our off-season workouts? How are we preparing for our test to come? We should be getting ready, developing that character, kindness, patience, and gentleness. Get ready now! Whether if we are Single,Dating, Engaged, or Married we shouldn’t be worried about our past nor future, we should be concerned about our “Gift” called Today.

Merry Christmas! Enjoy your Gift!

~ Tommy

Stir It Up!

Earlier in the week I was feeling really bored with my life; I felt like, “wow, I do the same thing day in- day out… work, church, home…time with Tommy…time with friends…and quickly I return back to work.”I started comparing my life to that of some people on facebook; some folks appeared to being having so much fun, their lives looked so interesting. Bottom line, I was being deceived by the enemy that my life somehow was boring because everything I do almost always rounds back to church and my relationship building with Tommy.

I was feeling really discouraged, but after spending some time in the Bible reading up on who God says I am and soaking in some great advice from an awesome friend of mine, Dr. Lindsay Marsh, my eyes were opened and I realized that, “No! my life is not boring, and Yes! Praise God it’s centered around the things it is centered around!...I am who I am because that’s who God has called me to be! I am in the position I am in because that’s the place God has for me at this divine moment in my life…and how dare I even entertain the destructive ideas of satan that something is somehow wrong about spending the substantial amount of time that I do building relationship with the man whom I will spend the rest of my earthly life with!

The Devil is a liar and he indeed “comes to steal, kill, and destroy” (John 10:10). He wants to cripple your thoughts and get you off the path of righteousness to instead lead you to “a path that seems right…but leads only to death”(Proverbs 14:12).

I urge you my brothers and sisters to not “grow weary in well doing” (2Thessalonians 3:13). There is absolutely nothing wrong with living a God-centered and God-focused life. In fact that’s exactly what you should be doing, but if you’re like me and you find yourself feeling a little stale every now and then, then feel free to spice it up! Stir it up! Change it up!

“Go to a restaurant you’ve never been to before, dye your hair, put on some makeup, cut your hair, go shopping, take a fun class, get salsa lessons, take a weekend trip….” The list goes on and on; either way do something to get things going for you again.

Minister Lindsay told me that according to her Pastor Mike Freeman, “if you want something better, you have to do something different.”

I have been so inspired now to really take a hold to that advice and just add a little splash of color to my life. I know that I can’t expect for excitement to just show up on my door step, I have to go out and get it.

So take a second and first thank God for where He has you right now, “in all situations [learn] to be content” (Philipians 4:11 ), second, get off facebook for a little while; stop researching the lives of others and start living yours, and lastly, dive in and discover what gets you excited and stir it up!
~Candace

Max-Out!!

A few weeks ago I read Dr. Lindsay Marsh’s Book “Best Sex of My Life” a Guide to Sexual Purity. I thought the book was great it gives great practical knowledge for keys to living a sexually pure life. As for me, before I had this crazy idea that sexual purity ended once you got married; I had this insane mindset that once you got married you could have all the sex that you wanted, so I just thought it made sense that sexual purity was over once the wedding bands went on the fingers. On the contrary, I learned that Sexual purity does not have an expiration date but it is a lifestyle. Things that can have an effect on us outside of marriage if not dealt with can have a huge effect on the relationship after marriage. Examples being the music we listen to, masturbation, pornography, and anything we allow our eyes to see or our ears to hear that doesn’t glorify God. I heard someone say once, that the devil does whatever possible to make you have sex before marriage and whatever possible to prevent you from having sex after marriage. With that being said I take it upon myself to make sure I don’t give the devil any opportunity to ruin the “Best Sex of my Life”. How do I try to do this? By getting a clear distinct definition of what Sex actually is created for and that definition can only be given by its creator. The Definition: SEX- is designed to be shared between a Male and a Female after they have made a Covenant with one another. Anything other than that we’re cutting ourselves short and we’re not reaching our maximum potential of enjoyment. I want to reach my max in life How about you?

~ Tommy

"Truth"

Who is the judge?

The judge is God.

Why is he God?

Because he decides who wins or loses. Not my opponent.

Who is your opponent?

He does not exist.

Why does he not exist?

Because he is a mere dissenting voice of the truth I speak!”

My dad has this saying that has stuck with me for years; he says, “Speak the truth, speak it ever, call it what you will. He who hides the wrong he does, does the wrong thing still.”

I gather from this quote that whether you speak it or not, the truth still exists.

My auntie Regna has taught me that if you want to be able to distinguish the truth from a lie, you study the real thing, so that the counterfeit will be easy to spot. Studying the truth takes a lot of commitment and along with it sometimes comes hurt feelings and shame.

There’s something about hearing the truth that can be really difficult. I don’t know about you but hearing the truth about my faults and areas of much needed growth is pretty painful. I mean, deep down inside whether verbalized or not, you already know what you would like to work on about yourself! But actually hearing it is even more real. But ladies and gentlemen at the end of the day it’s all about the work that God is doing in you and it doesn’t matter the person He chooses to speak through.

But for me I have been blessed to have Tommy as God’s truth -speaking mouth piece. And oooh boy his truth is real. We’ve shared with you before about the importance of tone, but even when the truth is spoken in love, the way he does so well, bottom line is it’s still the truth! I’m learning that true love tells the truth and true love listens to the truth. After all as my soon to be husband , who better than to tell me the truth despite the temporary pain I may feel. As my husband he will be the example of Christ and I will be the example of the church (Ephesians 5:25 ) And the Word of God says that Christ is, “...the way, the truth, and the life...” (John 14:5) To accompany Christ as the truth, 1John 5:16 says that, “God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them...(verse 17) and as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.”

So what am I saying? I’m saying that no matter how badly the truth sometimes hurts, as Tommy lives in God and we prepare to be ambassadors for God’s design for marriage (a mirror image of His relationship with us the church), then the truth he speaks helps to grow our love for God and one another more perfect!

So don’t get upset or frustrated with the person that tells you the truth; after all they are not your opponent, your opponent does not exist! They are just the mouth-piece chosen by God, who is the judge.

~Candace