Influential Woman:

Over the past few weeks I have been realizing how critical of a role my attitude plays in altering the environment of our relationship.Tommy detests a negative/or complaining spirit and for him any kind of complaint without a solution is futile and utterly destructive for a person’s spirit. (Remember, these are my words not his…but from what I gather from our conversations and his response to complaining attitudes, this is the bottom line.)

And truthfully, I agree with him, although sometimes you just want to vent about your day or just your frustrations. I used to think, “yeah, that’s the great part about having a mate: someone to talk to about EVERYTHING, someone to just be truthful and transparent with. But the reality is, no matter how open and transparent your relationship is, your man is not your girlfriend, and most of all he is not God! He has bad days too, and you have to be sensitive to when is right time to vent or simply “express your feelings” and when you should just leave your frustrations at the Father’s feet, and have a quiet and content spirit.

This can be a challenge for me, but as I continue to grow in Christ and also learn my role as a woman, and as a wife-to-be, I am beginning to grasp the concept of truly “Seeking first the Kingdom of Heaven”. You see, if I continue to “VENT, AND VENT, AND VENT” Tommy begins to get worn out and “un-motivated” to talk to me. There is only so much negative talk you can share; you have to use wisdom and realize the power and influence that you as a woman truly have in setting the environment for your male/female relationships.

So as I practice these tools myself, I encourage you ladies to also apply the skill of applying the 5 W’s a little differently:

1. Knowing who to talk to

2. What to share with them

3. Where is the best place to talk

4. When is the right time to bring up the subject

5. Why you’re choosing to share this issue/subject with them.

***Remember, despite how strong, protective, wise, or patient your SuperMan is, he is still just a man, a mere human, and Truthfully, God should be the 1^st one you run to when you’re overwhelmed or stressed, or confused, or whatever! Seeking Christ first will allow you to do all your talking and expressing without talking his ear off, and it will also allow the Holy Spirit to enter your situation and calm you down. And lastly, you will hopefully have received a new direction or solution to your issue that you can positively share with your man.

Most men are problem solvers, so talking just to talk can get really old and frustrating for them, but if you already have a solution, they may be a little more inclined to engage in the conversation, knowing there’s a point to the story, and better yet, that your positively responding to it.

Well I hope this was helpful, I’d love to know your thoughts on the issue.

~Candace